I want to be on top of it this year.
I don’t want to look back and wonder.
I know 2011 was a difficult year.
It wasn’t all bad, but it held some of the hardest times I’ve ever experienced.
Living through it, and being able to continue on, was the best part.
Going into 2012, I was filled with optimism. I was glad to put that old, sad year behind me. 2012 was going to be a good year!
Chinese New Year followed shortly after. The Year of the Dragon! I was born in the year of the dragon, considered the most powerful sign in the Chinese calendar. That had to be a good sign, right? The year of the dragon would be a wonderful year for me.
In August, I turned sixty. 60! I’ve always loved those round numbers! This has to be good…doesn’t it? “This year, aged sixty, will be my best year yet”, I told myself.
Over and over, as things seemed to turn from bad to worse, uglier and uglier, I said, with less and less enthusiasm, “My best year yet!”
I will not bother with the details. I experienced job troubles and money problems. There were difficult encounters and lost friendships. Illness and death, both human and canine. Car trouble and lawn mower trouble. A roof that was leaking buckets-full…through the new attic insulation…pouring out through the light fixture in the laundry room…ruining the floor. And on, and on.
I’ve thought, perhaps, I’m just focusing on the negative.
No, I think the opposite is actually true.
But I wasn’t wearing blinders, either. I experienced the bad as well as the good.
2012 is behind me. It wasn’t the worst, but it fell far short of my expectations for it.
February 10th will mark the beginning of the Year of the Snake in the Chinese calendar. The dragon was not particularly good to me.
Come August, I’ll be back in those other pesky numbers, with five years before another round number in my age. Sixty hasn’t been the worst, but so far it has quite a way to go before it could be considered my best year yet.
I’m not going to put so much pressure on 2013.
This doesn’t have to be the best.
This year, I will have no expectations.
The year will unfold.
I’ll deal with the rough times.
I’ll enjoy the good times.
I will laugh as much as possible.
Just like last year.
Six days in, it’s going okay so far.