The letter F is really hard to work with, in this list format. Early in the week, I thought, “Failures.” I could make a list with that. I have had three failed businesses in my life. I’ve endured one failed marriage and a few failed relationships. I’ve failed at meeting many goals, deadlines, plans and aspirations. My gosh, I was depressed before I even started writing!
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was looking at it the wrong way. If I were still holding on to that marriage, or any of those relationships or businesses, when they were not making me happy, that would be the failure. It wasn’t easy to step aside, to walk away. But for me, it was the best thing.
What I held onto, by moving away from things that were hurtful or disappointing or boring, was the high standard I set for my life. That can also explain the goals and deadlines I haven’t reached: I set a high bar; of course it will be difficult – often impossible – to reach it!
So, having spent the better part of the week working that out, I was left with no list for the letter F. I went through the dictionary; I browsed the thesaurus. I checked out several Pinterest boards. F is hard!
- There is “Family,” but I come from a large family, with lots of siblings and cousins. Now with all of our children and grandchildren and nieces and nephews adding to the population, I’d be hard pressed to list anything more than names.
- Of course, I thought of “Friends.” That category seemed too expansive, dangerous and vague all at the same time. I have a few good friends, and a hundred casual friend, and family that are also friends. How could I possibly acknowledge them all? What if I missed someone? And, bottom line, doesn’t this sound a little like the fourth grade? No, I will not attempt to write a list of friends.
- “Forgotten” was intriguing to me, but impossible. If I can’t remember a thing, how can I put it on a list?
- “Feminist Ideals I Stand Up For” and
- “Funny Things That Have Happened to Me” were rejected because of the length of the title, and that they both seemed to be stretching. Both “feminist” and “funny” are adjectives in this context. Using adjectives to get to the subject for a particular letter seems like cheating.
So, with over four-hundred words already on the page, I still have no title…and no list. Unless I simply make a list of the rejected F list. That’s it!