Last week, it was a question. This week, a statement: No Art. I haven’t had a single moment in the studio all week.
I’ve bargained with myself about other commitments to try to figure out how to fit it in. Could something be set aside, or delayed, or rushed through, to make time for the studio? This week, just like many other weeks, that was impossible. I have brainstormed about ways to fit in a little bit of art making in other times and places. I chastised myself for reading instead of drawing while eating lunch, moments when a sketch book rather than a dog could have been on my lap, and any other stolen minutes that could possibly have been put to better use. That doesn’t work.
Art should be a joyful experience, that I willingly create time for, look forward to, and take joy in. Art should not be a part of the frantic push-pull that is my life right now. Until something gives way, until something changes, there is no time for art in my life. That’s an unhappy fact, but true.
I just finished the February “task and activity tracker” for my journal. As usual, I left one sad column to chart time spent in the studio. I’ve just decided to revise it. The column – neglected all these many months – set aside to mark time spent making art (that coincides with a “to-do” list in my brain that feels sorry, sorry, sorry and let down every single time it gets left in the wake of other duties) is out. For the month of February, any time I can muster to put toward it will be spent getting my life in better order, so that I will have time, eventually, for art.
I’m going to concentrate on my schedule, and what can be rearranged. I’m going to work hard toward removing a couple major commitments from my life. There is a lot of simple clearing and organizing, in the studio and through the rest of the house, that would help. Maybe I’ll find that I don’t have time for any of that either. But, maybe it will be just what I need. I’ll let you know!.