Sunday Snowfall

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november2014 104

There’s a gentle snow falling, as I sit down to write. It’s covering the mud, ice and sodden leaves that – with a week of rain and warmer temperatures – had been my view. It offers a feeling of calm, this morning.

Once, on a flight off the island with my Aunt Katie, I was totally wrapped up in my own terror. I’m not particularly afraid of flying, but I’m always relieved to land safely. This was an especially bumpy flight, and the small plane was buffeted in the wind. Adding to my unease, one seat had been removed. Instead of having a seat back that I could white-knuckle latch on to as the plane was tossed around, there was just a big open space. I know all the statistics; I understand how very safe those little airplanes are. Still, I was terrified. At one point, my aunt leaned toward me to explain the grocery list. Barely able to move my jaw to speak, I said, “I can’t talk now, Aunt Katie. I’m trying to keep this plane in the air!”

Of course, there was nothing I could do, really, but I felt, still, that it needed my full attention.

I’ve been experiencing similar feelings of terror during this first week with a new administration. I know…it may appear that it’s just sour grapes, poor sportsmanship, or the inability to gracefully accept a loss. I assure you, it goes much deeper than that. It’s not just offense at an unsavory personality in the White House. It’s much more than simply his allies or his positions – though both speak volumes of the character we have put in power. This is real fear. Just like on that airplane ride, I feel like it needs my full attention. I can’t look away. Whenever I get a moment, I type “news” onto my computer screen. I select the most trusted sources. I wait, with dread, to see what has happened since I last looked away.

It doesn’t seem healthy, to be this fearfully focused, for such an extended time. When I got off that small plane – after a seemingly endless twenty-minute flight – I was jittery for hours. This has to be taking a toll. There are people in the world who know nothing else, whose days and nights are filled with unease, uncertainty, fear. Sometimes it all seems too much to bear.

There is little I can do, really. I write letters, sign petitions and make phone calls. I joined the ACLU, for what little help my small donation might offer. It all seems like a pretty measly effort…still, I can’t look away. At least, I need to be aware.

I watch the snow falling gently down over the landscape. I breathe a sigh.

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About cindyricksgers

I am an artist. I live on an island in northern Lake Michigan, USA. I have two grown daughters, four strong, smart and handsome grandsons and one beautiful, intelligent and charming granddaughter. I live with two spoiled dogs. I love walking in the woods around my home, reading, writing and playing in my studio.

10 responses »

  1. The anxiety and fear levels are high. As you say, many people in many places, know this intimately. Do what you’re doing. Take time out for your precious self.

      • It truly is. Yet when I can step back from all the craziness, I know there are millions of people, in the U.S. and in Canada (of course all around the world really) who are good people, who will choose to do what is the right and noble thing to do, no matter who is in power. I hold on to that.

  2. Keep that plane in the air! Yes, it’s hard to have a normal life when that person seems to act without thinking about backlashes….

    Today two friends and I went on a trek in the cloud forest and ‘took a wrong turn’ and it took hours before we returned to the ‘T’ where things went wrong. it has been raining, we were soaked, it was cold, and the sun was inching closer to the western horizon… Believe me, we were not thinking about politics or world events – only getting back to a spot we remembered and getting off that high ridge before dark!!!! ah, there’s nothinng so great as hot water and dry clothes when one is chilled!

      • ha.. my ‘chikunguya’ body is protesting today! i feel as if i played in a championship football game!!!

        ah, but i’d must rather be cold and wet and lost in the cloud forest than sitting in a well-appointed office and never seeing the sun or touching the earth!

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