Time Out

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This morning I was up early, bright-eyed and ready to take on the day. I was going to write my daily blog, then do some necessary bookkeeping, then maybe (even!) tackle the township news before getting in the shower.

No internet service! After a half hour of trying everything I knew to try (restart the computer, reset the modem, curse, pray, pretend it doesn’t matter…then repeat), I gave it up. No computer work got done this morning.

My day was an emotional roller coaster. I blame others, but it was probably just me. I was sensitive to every comment; my feelings were hurt easily; I cried twice, over almost nothing. A Disney commercial brought me to tears!

I’m 63 years old. It would seem that I would be done with hormonal shifts. If that’s not the case, if on occasion a stray active hormone caused an imbalance, I’d like to suggest that it might do some good. It could, for instance minimize – even just temporarily – the wrinkles around my mouth. It could work at lessening the almost constant pain in my joints. It could put a spring in my step or a sparkle in my eye.

Instead, it seems, any imbalance affects only my disposition. I get moody, or sad, or shrill. I cry without reason. This is what I’ve been struggling with all day long. While trying to be friendly to customers, co-workers and my boss.

Home, I went for a walk in the woods. Rosa Parks refused to come along. That was a bigger disappointment than it needed to be. Back in the house, I noted that internet service was restored. That’s when the Disney ad attacked, with it’s over-the-top sentimentality.

There will be no timeout for art today. There will be no work at all, on the computer tonight. The best thing I can do for myself right now is the thing I’m about to do. I’m going to bed!

 

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About cindyricksgers

I am an artist. I live on an island in northern Lake Michigan, USA. I have two grown daughters, four strong, smart and handsome grandsons and one beautiful, intelligent and charming granddaughter. I live with two spoiled dogs. I love walking in the woods around my home, reading, writing and playing in my studio.

12 responses »

  1. Remember what Scarlette said, Cindy, ” Tomorrow is another day.” I’m sorry this day was so contentious, but I even enjoy reading about it! I hope tomorrow is this days mirror oppositešŸ˜ƒ I love reading your articles!

  2. “There will be days like that, my mama said.” (Not sure which song that is.) Yep, it seems we can hit age 58 or 63 and still be emotional and weepy and confused and very human. On Tuesday night I couldn’t sleep after 4 a.m. and was so exhausted and irritated much of Wednesday. Errrr….those are the days to “lay low” if possible.

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