This morning I was up early, bright-eyed and ready to take on the day. I was going to write my daily blog, then do some necessary bookkeeping, then maybe (even!) tackle the township news before getting in the shower.
No internet service! After a half hour of trying everything I knew to try (restart the computer, reset the modem, curse, pray, pretend it doesn’t matter…then repeat), I gave it up. No computer work got done this morning.
My day was an emotional roller coaster. I blame others, but it was probably just me. I was sensitive to every comment; my feelings were hurt easily; I cried twice, over almost nothing. A Disney commercial brought me to tears!
I’m 63 years old. It would seem that I would be done with hormonal shifts. If that’s not the case, if on occasion a stray active hormone caused an imbalance, I’d like to suggest that it might do some good. It could, for instance minimize – even just temporarily – the wrinkles around my mouth. It could work at lessening the almost constant pain in my joints. It could put a spring in my step or a sparkle in my eye.
Instead, it seems, any imbalance affects only my disposition. I get moody, or sad, or shrill. I cry without reason. This is what I’ve been struggling with all day long. While trying to be friendly to customers, co-workers and my boss.
Home, I went for a walk in the woods. Rosa Parks refused to come along. That was a bigger disappointment than it needed to be. Back in the house, I noted that internet service was restored. That’s when the Disney ad attacked, with it’s over-the-top sentimentality.
There will be no timeout for art today. There will be no work at all, on the computer tonight. The best thing I can do for myself right now is the thing I’m about to do. I’m going to bed!