Not This Day


april2016 146

Today I woke up with the same headache I went to sleep with last night.

This is also the day I spent several hours on mounds of book work and only completed some of it.

After extra days to get it done, this is the day I still had to resign myself to the fact that my taxes will not be filed on time.

This is the day I finally got through to my daughter, after several days of trying to call her. That call resulted in an argument that was sad and hurtful for both of us, and little accomplished anyway.

It is the day I opened a letter filled with well-meaning and fact-based, but devastating criticism of my work on the Beacon, with a suggestion that I give it up “before the contents become completely irrelevant.”

This is the day I invited company for dinner…and was unable to reach them to cancel, when I realized I was too frustrated and sad to be good company.

So, today, in spite of myself, I planned a dinner and went to the grocery store. I cleared the table by making one big pile (though I’d sworn I wouldn’t) on the desk out of the many small piles (tax stuff, Beacon stuff, blog stuff, correspondence and bills) that were taking up table space. This is the day I’ll cook a chicken and smile and make conversation.

This will not be the first day this year that I don’t publish a blog…because that would mean this day has won, and I don’t want that. Not this day.


About cindyricksgers

I am an artist. I live on an island in northern Lake Michigan, USA. I have two grown daughters, four strong, smart and handsome grandsons and one beautiful, intelligent and charming granddaughter. I live with two spoiled dogs. I love walking in the woods around my home, reading, writing and playing in my studio.

21 responses »

  1. I believe that you are doing a marvelous job on your blog and on your magazine called the Beaver Beacon. It is always hard to satisfy everyone, but very easy to find dissatisfied people willing to cause negative feelings. It is also easy for those that don’t have as many irons in the fire to judge those that have do have many irons in the fire. Hope you had a great relaxing and enjoyable dinner tonight! Keep up the good work!

    • Thank you, Joe! I actually got more calls and letters of appreciation for the last Beacon than any before it…but it tends to be easier to discard compliments and take every criticism seriously. Especially if the words ring true. Thanks for your kindness!

  2. CIindy – I just started reading your blog again recently. I have laughed, I have cried, but in the end, I have loved it. Just remember the Bible verse, “This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”, then all will go better. Your cousin.

  3. I think you have too many irons in the fire. Let (some) of the blogging go and concentrate more on the Beacon where you can shine, for I know that you are an excellent writer. Blogging every day is not cut and dried and neither is it a must. PS: I hope I am not being too blunt or bossy here. I just believe you need to let some things go. After all there is only one of you. Prove your critic/s wrong and give the Beacon your all.

    • Good advice, Yvonne, but sometimes I have to stick with the things I can succeed at, to give me the strength and determination to continue plugging away at the others! Thanks for caring!

  4. ๐Ÿ˜ข. I hope your week changes to bring you so many smiles you won’t be able to keep them in single file๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ˜ƒ

  5. Oh, Cindy. Criticism is hard to take sometimes, especially when it’s so harsh. Consider the source, wave a happy middle finger at them, and forge ahead.

    I hope you were able to have a nice dinner; sometimes things like that, whether we’re in the mood for them or not, seem to be just the thing to put you right again.

    I’m sorry for your bad day – surely things will get better. Keep on keepin’ on, girlie!

    • Yes, better already, Sara. I’m drafting a response…to the “writer, radio host and producer” to thank him for his input. I am debating whether to add a motherly bit of advice suggesting that just because you are in a position to see problems and flaws, it doesn’t mean you’re the first or only one, and it doesn’t necessitate speaking up critically. You know, the old, “if you can’t say something nice…”

  6. I love reading your blog and admire your dedication. And the last Beacon was absolutely inspired. Phooey on your bad day and phooey on anyone who rains on your parade (or anybody’s) Keep marching to your own drumbeat!

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