I Don’t Want to Argue

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There are as many points of view as there are people in the world.

We all bring our own life experience and particular perception to our opinion.

It’s fine that way.

I don’t mind a person having a different viewpoint than me.

Know this, though:

  • I don’t really want to hear about it. Whether you are born-again Christian, vegan, a Tea-Party Republican, a wild-game hunter or a survivalist, I am not interested. I may pretend to care, but I don’t. I may care about you, but I’d rather talk about why you cry through sad movies, like to walk in the rain, or wear only polka-dots. If you are an observer, a reader, an explorer of life…you have my attention.
  • I find it insulting when someone tries to “enlighten” me, as if I’ve simply been shut off from the entire world for sixty-three years, and have had no means of forming an opinion of my own. I know science fiction and fantasy stories exist, and that dis-topian literature is trending right now. I don’t like it; I choose not to read it. My opinion will not change, even if I am coerced into reading “this really good one.” I don’t want to be “fixed” or “converted.”
  • I find it even more insulting when someone recognizes that I do have a viewpoint, and goes on to tell me how wrong it is. As if I haven’t got a brain in my head. As if I haven’t done reading and research of my own. As if I’ve been brain-washed.
  • I don’t want to argue. I don’t want to debate. I don’t think anyone ever gets up from an argument with a changed point of view. I may feel beaten down, bitter or insulted, but I don’t change my mind under those circumstances. My opinions come from thoughtful contemplation of my own experience and knowledge. A change of opinion would happen slowly, and in private.
  • You may see a slight, pinched smile on my face, letting you know I don’t share your view that Donald Trump is going to save us all, but I won’t take issue. I do not want to dissuade you from your point of view. It’s yours; keep it. And please allow me my own.

I don’t want to argue.

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10 responses »

  1. Wonderfully said, Cindy! I am so grateful to know people like you. I think the other kind just to need to constantly affirm themselves.

  2. Yep, all those do-gooders that want to reform everyone they meet. I’m with you. I don’t like to argue either. It’s very tiring and boring. And Trump the guy that fell off the turnip wagon? I probably should not have written that. Oh well. 🙂

  3. I agree Cindy. I most people are preaching to choir, the people who agree with them will pat them on the back and continue to agree with them, the people who don’t agree with them will continue not to agree with them. The sooner everyone realizes that, the better.
    I have a friend who is constantly posting things on Facebook that I disagree with, having made the above realization I rarely respond, not wanting to expose myself to a silly public debate that is going to end with us feeling at least a little irritated and no change in either of our opinions. I don’t want to defriend or block everything this person posts because he is a good friend and I do find many of his posts funny or of mutual interest, soooooooo I play this continuous game bop the gopher blocking anything from the sources he finds his material.

    • It’s worst, of course, with politics. Religion used to be bad, but I don’t run into many people lately who are trying to “save” me. Recently, I’ve had a few friends challenging me about my work with Phragmites. When I gave FACTS to defend our use of herbicides (that it is not an effort to make Monsanto even stronger), it was suggested that I had “drank the Kool-Ade” –as in, was brainwashed by their rhetoric, or was too stupid to see the truth. ARG!! Thanks for reading!

  4. Haha! I found this post by searching the category, ‘born-again Christian,’ which I clearly am interested in, but I tend to agree with you about not wanting to argue and that rarely does the exchange of opinions (especially online) result in immediate compassion for the other. But still I have to tell my story, which is what I’m doing with my blog. You can’t argue with poetry!

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