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Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain…and most fools do.

~Benjamin Franklin

 

When I started this writing practice, it was with specific intentions.

A string of deaths in my family, including two siblings, had caused me to think about my own life. Nothing, I tell you, causes a person to realize their own mortality more than the death of a sibling.

We learned that lesson young in my family, as my parents lost two babies in infancy, before their oldest child was sixteen. As brothers and sisters, we noted how those experiences changed us. We lost some of the carefree abandon of childhood. We became more aware of danger, protective of our parent’s feelings, fearful for our own babies. We all share a dark sense of humor.

We learned it again in middle age when my little brother David’s untimely death was followed less than fourteen months later by the sudden, unexpected death of my sister, Sheila.

In science, one is an anomaly…but two is a trend.

Just as I was, as a young girl, forced by circumstance to look at life differently, I found myself looking again at the years gone by…and the time I have left.

I realized that I was mostly wandering blindly through my life, letting forces beyond my control change my direction or alter my course. I noted how many years had passed when I wasn’t really noticing.

I started this writing practice as a means of changing that.

My intent was to pay closer attention, to be more aware of my surroundings and more mindful of each day. I had a few other rules: give credit; don’t be mean; use the practice to hone writing skills.

Looking over the one hundred and ninety plus posts I have published here, I have succeeded, for the most part, in my goals.

Lately, though, with distractions abounding, I’ve gotten a little lax.

The frequency of posting is not a problem: once a week, more or less, is fine with me.

I’ve noticed that, lately, much of my writing has degenerated to the level of the forty years of journal pages that preceded it: whining, self-pity, excuses and complaints.

That has got to change!

We create our world, by the way we look at it.

When something is written down, it is given even more credibility.

Some things are beyond our control, sure, but we can always control our response.

It’s time to start looking up, and to let my writing reflect that.

It’s going to get better!

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”

~Benjamin Franklin

 

 

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About cindyricksgers

I am an artist. I live on an island in northern Lake Michigan, USA. I have two grown daughters, four strong, smart and handsome grandsons and one beautiful, intelligent and charming granddaughter. I live with two spoiled dogs. I love walking in the woods around my home, reading, writing and playing in my studio.

15 responses »

    • Yes, I’ve been living in quite a foul mood lately. Sometimes I just have to make a concerted effort to get out of it…and then circumstances seem to change, too! Thanks for reading, and for your comments!

  1. Yes, mortality is something we can not escape. I think about it every day. It is true that if one continues to bemoan out less than perfect life then dark karma will continue to hang around. I’ve been there and done that as we often say, and know it to be true.

    Lots of insight. in this postr like this one a lot.

    ~yvonne

    • Yes, sometimes a dark mood seems to generate more dark energy…it sure seems that way sometimes. I think keeping an eye on mortality is a good thing, as it is an encouragement to make the most of each day. Thanks for reading, Yvonne, and for your comments!

  2. Gosh, I hadn’t really noticed complaints. I noticed honesty in your posts…but it is so interesting how Life taps us on the shoulder and says “now, a little more positive” and then later “OK, now it’s time to share some more challenging feelings.” Seems like it’s tapping you now toward the positive. I don’t usually use my blog as a place to ponder what feels like it’s not working. Usually do that with journalling and close friends. However, when you don’t share both sides of yourself equally, people tend to look at you in limited ways because they don’t know both halves. I like how you always make us think here.

    • Right! You have mentioned before about how people see you as someone who has never known pain or suffering, because you choose not to talk about it. I do tend to put it all out there BUT when I start to sound all angst-y and self-pitying and whiny (which may be more in my head than actually in writing), then I embarrass myself. “Nobody likes a whiner.” (~my Mom)
      Thank you for reading, Kathy, and for your kind comments!

  3. Cindy, I don’t care what you’re writing about, I usually find something in it that make me think more deeply about what’s inside of me. This post makes me want to get back to regular blogging, and to think about why I started blogging in the first place. I’m definitely guilty of letting things that are beyond my control my change my direction and alter course. I’ve always thought I just chose to “go where the wind blows.” But you make me realize that maybe there’s a better way to live my life. I don’t like change very much, but we’ll see…Thank you, my friend.

    • I resist change, too, Kate. Conflict, too. Which too often means I just float along (clumsily!), letting life happen. When I act, it is usually because it would be more stressful at that point not to do anything, but it is not easy. It seems, though, that I have just let a series of things get to me in a deep and sad way, and I feel like if I don’t make a concerted effort to make change – in attitude, at least – the darkness will continue to follow me.
      Thank you, as always, for your kind comments and support, Kate!

  4. your posts are always well-written and honest. it’s not normal for people to be 100 percent upbeat and happy all of the time.. even the moon goes into periods of rest and inward reflection!!!

    your regular readers love you for who you are and the circumstances that nudged you into good times or not so good… it’s nice when you’re candid, as we are reminded that ‘even cindy’ has low days!

    as always, thank you for sharing your thoughts and inward reflections. you raise your own personal bar, and by doing so, we are reminded to critique our own habits as well!

    z

    • Thank you, Lisa! No matter what depths of self-indulgence I plunge to, whether complaining of the weather or whatever else is getting me down, to neglecting simple obligations, you always make me feel alright about it…even normal! It is much appreciated, always! Thank you!

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