UNemployed

Standard

Image

Well, let’s see…after two days of high drama at work  (none of which directly affected me, but anyone that works knows everyone is affected), I drove home Wednesday evening, took the dogs for an especially long and thoughtful walk, sat down at the computer and composed a letter, quitting my job. After considerable pacing and arguing with myself, I hit the “send” button.

There.

Done.

I slept like a baby that night.

I had stood up for myself, and my friend. I had spoken my mind in a way I am often too timid to do, but not unkindly.

I woke Thursday morning with the world laid before me, pregnant with possibility.

A morning to linger over coffee and then take a long walk.

A day to give the house a thorough cleaning: I tell you, if my floors had eyebrows (which they probably could have fashioned from the dust that was accumulating), the eyebrows would have been raised in wonderment at the attention they were given that day. I actually removed the sofa cushions to vacuum underneath; under normal circumstances, that rarely happens twice in a season! I cleared the dining room table, which had been looking quite a bit like a work station, and gave it a bouquet of peonies to celebrate.

A day for getting work done outside: I spent actual hours digging and weeding in the garden, trimming around the stones and trees in the yard, picking strawberries and watering everything.

A day for getting caught up on things in the studio: I assembled frames and unwrapped plexiglass. I matted and mounted new work. I knocked down and cleared out a bunch of cardboard shipping boxes. I finished writing out a plan for Drawing Classes to be offered this summer.

A day to spend time with my dogs: I thawed a packet of sliced turkey and worked on some of the training methods I’ve learned from watching “Dogs in the City”. It turns out, those television dogs are faster learners than mine…or maybe there’s some editing involved. We fit in three long walks, and one nice afternoon nap.

A time for contemplating my future: I balanced my checkbook and went through my bills. I checked the “forum” for job possibilities. I made a few lists, and a few calls.

In addition to all this, the man came out to do my roof repair. He even fixed my screen door while he was here!

I fixed myself a simple meal and ate at the dining room table with a cloth napkin, a lit candle and a glass of wine.

It was a wonderful day, with not one moment of regret.

Until bedtime.

When my head hit the pillow, my heart started pounding.

What had I done???

I had placed my principles above my security.

That would be fine, if I were independently wealthy…or even had a reasonably-sized savings account…or if I had a husband to help support the house-hold…or had another job in the works…

Principles are fine, but they don’t pay the bills.

What followed was not pretty.

Six hours of tossing and turning, pacing the floor and self-recrimination. I wavered between extreme worry and all-out panic. I cried once. I fell asleep, finally, at five A.M.

Yesterday, I picked myself up after two hours rest and gave myself a good “talking-to”. I am a good worker. I have skills that are useful. I am not too old to be of service.

I started making – and taking – calls. By early afternoon, I had a job.

And my unending gratitude goes out to the universe.

Unemployment does not sit well with me for long.

Advertisements

27 responses »

      • I love Linda’s comment about filling the empty glass with better wine! Cindy, I can so relate to the terrors of your restless night…I’m so proud of you for coming through it and having a glass of good wine for breakfast. Congratulations! (So I assume a blog about your new job will be posted soon?)

      • Yes, soon. As soon as I’m sure I can master the computer system, juggle customers and keep up with business, I’ll write all about it. Waiting tables at nearly sixty years old…now there’s good blog material! Thanks for your understanding and good wishes, Kate!

  1. Cindy I am sure you felt the terror of being jobless and am so thankful you found another one.They lost a hard working,caring,genuine person there… Hope all goes well for you…

  2. Oh, wow, Cindy, I don’t know whether to say “sorry” or “good for you!” or “ohmygoodness!” Glad to hear that you followed your heart to leave that job AND that the Universe complied and gave you another one. You plunged into the Unknown and the Unknown supported you. Very cool!

    • Yes, Kathy, I’ve been saying a lot of “ohmygoodness”, usually followed by, “what have I done?” but sometimes you do just have to follow your heart. For me, not necessarily because it’s the BEST way, but because – at that point – it’s the ONLY way. I have to admit, it helps to have a job where a days work results in a days pay, nothing more. I was blessed to not have health insurance or a big retirement package to be walking away from. And so very blessed to have found another opportunity for employment! Thanks for your comments!

    • This time, that’s exactly how I felt. The last job I quit, I gave two months notice. I feel terrible about walking away from this job without notice at all. Several factors made me feel it was necessary and somewhat justified to do that, but I certainly don’t take it lightly. I appreciate your understanding, and supportive comments. Thank you.

  3. Oh gosh I went on a journey reading this post – from the dramatic start, to the aahhh’s of your day , ending with your dinner with a napkin and a glass of wine, then onto the oh no’s of a sleepless night and then phew she’s back on track the next day! I’m sure you did the best for you and in the best way for you. I hope your summer is bright and sun filled Cindy !

    • Yes, Claire, it was quite the roller coaster ride, wasn’t it? I’m still reeling from it…but I do feel it was best for me and I’m so very heartened by the show of support and best wishes I’ve received. Thanks for sending yours along!

  4. The universe has a way of taking care of us if we allow it to. Always I think you’re entitled to a day or two of feeling sorry for yourself but you picked yourself up and there you are. Congratulations!

    • Boy, I do! I’m fortunate that I have a reputation as a good worker and that, in this tourist destination, we are just beginning our busy season. The outcome might have been quite different if this had happened in October. Thanks for reading!

  5. Wow. I’m happy for you that it all turned out the way it did. Today is my first day back to work after spending five away and I’m ready to quit. I don’t know if I’d be as lucky as you finding a job right away, so I continue to bite the bullet.

    I hope you like your new job and that it fits in with the rest of your lifestyle. I’m a little envious of your guts.

    • I don’t know about guts, Sara. I think sometimes circumstances make the decision, and courage has nothing to do with it. It certainly will make for an exciting summer…new schedules, new people, new everything. With our big fourth of July celebration right around the corner, I’m learning on my feet! Thanks for your good wishes!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s